This is why people choose to avoid me and my friends. By our standards, what follows is a relatively sane chatlog.

Me : Do you have cancer?
Kitallis : Yes
Me : Why?
Kitallis : I had sex
Me : With a camel?
Kitallis : Frog.
Me : I was about to make a CamelCase joke. Now you’ve ruined it.
Me : You’re a sick, sick man.
Kitallis : I was about to not joke. Now you’ve ruined the serious part.
Kitallis : Yes, I have Cancer
Me : Ah. What kind of cancer?
Kitallis : Tadman Cancer
Kitallis : When you do it with a frog, a tadpole comes out of your ass
Kitallis : with the head of a man.
Me : Geez. I’ll be a tunkle!
Me : (a tadpole-uncle)
Kitallis : And you’ll buy him a nice barb-tad doll
Me : Or a tad-maid.

PS: Ignore that stolen Scrubs joke. I was having difficulty coming up with something to out-weird Kitallis.