A week ago I was at my not-too-distant relatives’ house for a 25th marriage anniversary party. As always, I crammed as much food on one of those tiny plates you find at expensive parties and sought for a secluded corner where I could hide from the relatives I didn’t know but who assumed I’d known them my entire life. The rooftop was divided into two halves by a low wall. There were a couple of people drinking on one side, but the other side was dark, devoid of guests and reasonably secluded. I chose a corner and started eating when it hit me – two years ago on this same day I was at a party in this same house standing in this same corner of this same roof. That, obviously, brought on a wave of nostalgia and I went off reminiscing. Now, before you continue reading, let me forewarn you of emo shit. A post like this was long overdue, since there have been many big changes in my life recently. I usually try not to write down stuff like this, but going from school to college has been too big a change for me. Anyway, continuing with the story …

Two years ago, in 2006, things were pretty different at this party. For one, I wasn’t alone on the roof. I had with me Shailesh and Irfan, who were staying over because none of them had anything better to do. Even back at school, I was never alone. At any given time, I had at least 2.7 people around me (that’s the average according to my calculations, like it or not). Even though I was as anti-social then as I am today, I was still on good terms with most of my class and (*gasp*) I knew everyone’s names. My jokes were still funny and I was as confident as ever that I’d get into IIT or, failing that, DCE. Even though he had changed schools, I still got to see Yuyutsu a lot. It had been only a few months since I had met Apoorv, and I was already finding him to be a pain in the ass (and he hasn’t gotten any better over time). Exams were approaching, but I was prepared for whatever the school might throw at me. I barely had any troubles at all.

Fast forward to 2007. Same day, same time. I was annoyed by the fact that I had to take so many exams (see this post), but I was pretty confident that even if I failed the exams at school, I’d still perform well in the competitive examinations coming up in April because I’d been ignoring school and concentrating hard on those instead. Shailesh was no longer hanging out with us because he had chosen to study commerce in grades 11 and 12 and, like us, he was (probably) busy with his coursework, which was very different from ours. Irfan had made a sudden switch to humanities from science, but we still hung out (is “hung out” even right?) together. Me and Apoorv had scrapped our plans of going to the United States for higher education, but Chinmay and Utsav were continuing their efforts for getting a nice scholarship. School was torture, and my jokes only moderately funny. I was stressed out because of the exams, but was still hopeful of making it through. Life was horribly depressing, but with the hope of a great future.

2008. Now Apoorv is at DCE, Shailesh is taking an year off to prepare for God-knows-what examination,  Irfan is at National Law School studying (duh) law, Satyam is still at school, Siddhant is at RV College (Bangalore), Yuyutsu and Chinmay are in NTU (Singapore) and most of the other folks I mentioned are all in much better colleges than I am. I barely get to meet anyone at all, and when I do get to meet them it’s always a subset of these people, never everyone. I’d sworn I’d never touch alcohol, but I was out drinking a day before my birthday. I’m stressed out because I’m *definitely* failing the end-semester exams. There is no hope of a better future because my course at college is a pile crap and I’ll have to deal with it for 4 years. I never cared about cash, but now I’d do anything to scrape together some money I could call my own. At college, I’m surrounded by people who are supposedly my friends, but both them and I know that they’ll desert me at my time of need.

I really miss the old times. Missing classes because there was a competition, out-witting (or trying to out-wit) the Chemistry teacher, trying to sneak out of boring assemblies/speeches/functions, getting thrown out of the Physics lab because we’d forgotten to complete our practical file fifth time in a row, getting thrown out of the Physics lab because we’d forgotten to complete our practical file *sixth* time in a row … I could go on. Oh, and I forgot to mention our quest to break all possible school rules without getting caught and the unspoken agreement on never submitting any assignment on time or, if we could help it, never submitting one at all. Strangely enough, I knew I’d miss school when all this was happening. Even in the most depressing of situations, I could feel that things weren’t going to suddenly get all rosy in college.

*sigh* And life moves on …